I weighed myself this morning even though I wasn't expecting to see a change. In fact, I was expecting to see a gain.
Weight: 182lbs!
So I've lost 18 so far. I'm hopeful that I can get to at least 181 before August so that my goal of 175ish by the end of August can happen. Even less would be better. Saying to myself that I've lost 18lbs sounds so much better than saying I've only lost 15 or 16. I'm proud. And only 2 more to go before my next reward. My sister is paying for my next reward. She said she wanted to treat me and her to a girls day of pedicures and manicures and I told her that a pedicure was my reward for losing 20lbs, so she promised to wait until then. She did tell me to hurry up though, haha. But only 2lbs to go and we can go get them! Just the pedicure though.... I haven't quite stopped biting my nails yet. But hopefully at 170 I can get a manicure.
It feels so weird... almost being out of the 180s. I feel like it wasn't too long ago that I was on the scale and seeing over 200. And here I am.. thinking about how I'm so close to seeing 179 on that scale. I am proud. I do still feel fat and I still hate my body and the way I look... but I know it's a work in progress, and I'm on my way to loving my body.
I really wanted to work out today but I'm getting the worst cramps. My period has been really messed up lately and the past 2 months have been horrible on the cramp side of things. I put my work out clothes on and everything and kept trying to work out.. but getting cramps in the middle of a set of jumping jacks is not fun. The pamprin I took isn't working either. So.. I don't know. I'll try tomorrow and for sure I'll work out all weekend. And if my cramps get better later today I'll try to work out.
I guess that's it for now. I'm happy with my progress so far, even though I'm not where I expected to be. But at least I'm losing, even if it is slowly.
-Monica
Thursday, July 28, 2011
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
Mostly Better.
I started working out today. I decided to start with something light since I do still have a slight cold and I still don't have all of my energy back. I did 50 minutes on the elliptical and almost passed out afterwards from being to tired. I don't think it was from not being used to working out, I think it was from not eating enough beforehand and just being so drained of energy. But at least I got up and started moving. I think on Thursday I'll start the 30 day shred again.
It was a rough week. Being sick as well as other things. Things aren't completely better but relatively speaking they are. I'm better and I'm planning on staying with my parents until the humidity lets up. There's some other stuff going on that I'm still having a bit of a tough time with but I don't think it'll interfere with my working out or eating healthy. We'll see. It was one of the reasons I didn't work out last week... some things are just more important at times. But I guess I'm back on track now.
I feel like I'm always saying that... that I'm back on track. But something always comes up and I get off track. I dunno. Ugh. Hopefully I'll stay on track this time. I hope I will.
-Monica
It was a rough week. Being sick as well as other things. Things aren't completely better but relatively speaking they are. I'm better and I'm planning on staying with my parents until the humidity lets up. There's some other stuff going on that I'm still having a bit of a tough time with but I don't think it'll interfere with my working out or eating healthy. We'll see. It was one of the reasons I didn't work out last week... some things are just more important at times. But I guess I'm back on track now.
I feel like I'm always saying that... that I'm back on track. But something always comes up and I get off track. I dunno. Ugh. Hopefully I'll stay on track this time. I hope I will.
-Monica
Thursday, July 21, 2011
Still Sick.
There's nothing to say.. I'm 184lbs. That's pretty surprising since I'm still sick. It's been a really rough week for more than one reason and I haven't been eating properly. I'm on a steady diet of ginger ale, soup and popsicles. I've pretty much had no appetite the past few days... I eat once a day and that's it. Absolutely no energy to work out either. On top of the strep throat I also have a cold, so it's been rough.Today's the first day I've felt a little better though, so I'm encouraged. I was getting a little worried that I'd have to go in for a mono test, because the doctor told me if I wasn't seeing an improvement in the next three days, she'd need me to get a mono test. And even my dad said he was concerned because I wasn't getting better. But hopefully by tomorrow I'll be feeling even better and won't have any worries about mono. Also, I guess an upside to being sick is that at the buck and doe on Saturday I won't drink and probably won't eat very much.
That's it for now I guess. Also, I love Nick and he's pretty awesome and stuff.
-Monica
That's it for now I guess. Also, I love Nick and he's pretty awesome and stuff.
-Monica
Sunday, July 17, 2011
Sick.
Just a quick update while I'm actually not on the couch or in bed.
I have strep throat which means I'll pretty much be out of commission the next 3-4 days. I'll see if I feel up to exercising lightly tomorrow, but today I'm way too drained and sore. I'm also not eating a lot because of it so I won't have the fuel to work out.
Update though: I weigh 184.2lbs. :)
This week has been crazy good in the weight loss department. Not so good in the health department. But I'm going to run out while I'm up to get some soup (the healthiest I can find) and I'll take meds and nurse myself back to health.
-Monica
I have strep throat which means I'll pretty much be out of commission the next 3-4 days. I'll see if I feel up to exercising lightly tomorrow, but today I'm way too drained and sore. I'm also not eating a lot because of it so I won't have the fuel to work out.
Update though: I weigh 184.2lbs. :)
This week has been crazy good in the weight loss department. Not so good in the health department. But I'm going to run out while I'm up to get some soup (the healthiest I can find) and I'll take meds and nurse myself back to health.
-Monica
Thursday, July 14, 2011
Back on track.. for real this time.
I'm much better the past 2 days. I think I was just having a few off days as a result of letting myself go for those couple days. But I'm back. And I'm happy to report that my weight is 186.8lbs. This means that since I've been back I've lost those 2.5lbs and then some. I knew they would come off quickly but I don't think I expected it this quickly. But I've been working really hard and I think the detox is helping too.
The detox that I'm using, for anyone interested, is the Slimquick gentle 7-day cleanse. I had my dad read the ingredients (and by this I mean he sat on the couch and I read the ingredients to him while he looked thoughtful) and he gave me the go ahead for it. The only thing about it is that is has senna in it, which is a natural laxative, and it's too harsh for a lot of people. I was reading reviews and a lot of people said that and they were getting severe cramps and the chills and such. I don't get things that bad - I get mild to severe cramping but it only lasts maybe a total of 2-3 minutes a day. I figure no pain, no gain, and I can deal with a couple minutes of cramping each day to cleanse my body. You just need to have a toilet nearby at times, haha. Was that too much information? I dunno. I mean, it's a cleanse so obviously that's how your body is going to cleanse yourself! I would definitely recommend everyone do it at least once because you really do feel better after. Just if you have bad side effects, stop. It's helpful to do research on the ingredients too and to talk to a pharmacist or someone similar.
I worked out for almost 2 hours today. I did the shred, level 2, and then about 75 minutes on the elliptical. I was so exhausted after I could barely stand up, but it was a great feeling. Tomorrow I'll do the 30-day shred and then depending on how I'm feeling, maybe the elliptical. Saturday and Sunday I'll do a shred and then the elliptical. I'm also measuring myself on Saturday, I believe. I've been eating well. Although today I made a big dinner and then I felt sick so I only ate a little of it. I think it was just from working out so hard, my stomach was being weird. But oddly enough I'm not even hungry. It's good that my appetite is beginning to get smaller again.
I feel good about myself. I'm happy about that. I also feel like my goal of 170-175lbs by the end of August is attainable. If I go hard until June 23rd and hopefully lose another 3-5lbs, I'll be in a good place. Then after the 23rd I'll go hard for over a month and I'll hopefully lose the last 10lbs or whatever. I definitely think I can do it if I keep going as hard as I am. I'm optimistic right now.
-Monica
The detox that I'm using, for anyone interested, is the Slimquick gentle 7-day cleanse. I had my dad read the ingredients (and by this I mean he sat on the couch and I read the ingredients to him while he looked thoughtful) and he gave me the go ahead for it. The only thing about it is that is has senna in it, which is a natural laxative, and it's too harsh for a lot of people. I was reading reviews and a lot of people said that and they were getting severe cramps and the chills and such. I don't get things that bad - I get mild to severe cramping but it only lasts maybe a total of 2-3 minutes a day. I figure no pain, no gain, and I can deal with a couple minutes of cramping each day to cleanse my body. You just need to have a toilet nearby at times, haha. Was that too much information? I dunno. I mean, it's a cleanse so obviously that's how your body is going to cleanse yourself! I would definitely recommend everyone do it at least once because you really do feel better after. Just if you have bad side effects, stop. It's helpful to do research on the ingredients too and to talk to a pharmacist or someone similar.
I worked out for almost 2 hours today. I did the shred, level 2, and then about 75 minutes on the elliptical. I was so exhausted after I could barely stand up, but it was a great feeling. Tomorrow I'll do the 30-day shred and then depending on how I'm feeling, maybe the elliptical. Saturday and Sunday I'll do a shred and then the elliptical. I'm also measuring myself on Saturday, I believe. I've been eating well. Although today I made a big dinner and then I felt sick so I only ate a little of it. I think it was just from working out so hard, my stomach was being weird. But oddly enough I'm not even hungry. It's good that my appetite is beginning to get smaller again.
I feel good about myself. I'm happy about that. I also feel like my goal of 170-175lbs by the end of August is attainable. If I go hard until June 23rd and hopefully lose another 3-5lbs, I'll be in a good place. Then after the 23rd I'll go hard for over a month and I'll hopefully lose the last 10lbs or whatever. I definitely think I can do it if I keep going as hard as I am. I'm optimistic right now.
-Monica
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
Having a tough time.
I'm having a bit of a tough time. Last week was the villages and my birthday. I ate poorly, which was to be expected. I only gained 2.5lbs, which should be reason to celebrate, right? But when you've only lost 12.5lbs total.. it kind of sucks. I feel like I'm failing at this.
I saw pictures of myself from my brother's birthday party and I was just disgusted at how I looked. I don't know if it's that the camera adds pounds or what, but I don't feel like I look like that when I look in the mirror. So it's hard seeing pictures of myself, and seeing how others view me. I look terrible. And it makes me feel awful. Especially because, as I've mentioned before, I feel like I am progressing, but when that doesn't translate to how people view me... it's very disheartening. And I've just been a mess lately.
I don't want to look like this anymore. I'm tired of feeling terrible about myself and thinking I'm fat and ugly. I want it to change. And on one hand, it fuels the fire and pushes me to work harder. But on the other hand.. it's such a slow process and it's so hard to keep my spirits up. I think I need all the help I can get right now. All I know is that I want to be able to wear cute clothes and not look at something and realize I'm too big for it. To want to actually buy bathing suits. To wear cute dresses and to not be completely self conscious about how I look from the side when I'm sitting down. To be confident enough in how I look and myself so I can believe that I'm good enough. But a big part of me keeps thinking I'll fail at this just like I've failed at countless other things. The difference is that this is the one thing I don't want to fail at, and I don't know what I'll do if I do.
Today was my first day working out for almost a week. Not by choice - my ankle was very sore and I spent the last few days icing it. It hurt this morning but by the time I got home it was fine. I did day 11 of the 30 day shred (level 2) and an hour on the elliptical. I would have done more but I was starving and needed time to study and shower. I'm really going to go hard the next couple weeks. I don't have anything until June 23rd. I have a buck and doe that night and I've already decided that I will do one of two things: if I eat the food, I won't drink, and if I drink I won't eat the food. I need to start making sacrifices so that one bad day doesn't put me back a week. This week I'm going hard on working out - no break until next Wednesday since I didn't work out Sunday or Monday. I'm also going to eat incredibly healthy and do my detox (which is just a cleansing pill that received approval from my dad). So it's a 7-day detox and I started that today. I also ate lots of veggies today - 3 cups of broccoli anyone?
I'm trying to keep myself distracted so I don't get so down about how I look. I've spent the entire night studying and beginning my law school applications, or at least figuring out what exactly I need to do for the applications. I've really got to get a move on those, especially the personal statements.
Anyway, that's it for now. Hopefully I'll lose those 2.5lbs doing this detox and get right back on track.
-Monica
I saw pictures of myself from my brother's birthday party and I was just disgusted at how I looked. I don't know if it's that the camera adds pounds or what, but I don't feel like I look like that when I look in the mirror. So it's hard seeing pictures of myself, and seeing how others view me. I look terrible. And it makes me feel awful. Especially because, as I've mentioned before, I feel like I am progressing, but when that doesn't translate to how people view me... it's very disheartening. And I've just been a mess lately.
I don't want to look like this anymore. I'm tired of feeling terrible about myself and thinking I'm fat and ugly. I want it to change. And on one hand, it fuels the fire and pushes me to work harder. But on the other hand.. it's such a slow process and it's so hard to keep my spirits up. I think I need all the help I can get right now. All I know is that I want to be able to wear cute clothes and not look at something and realize I'm too big for it. To want to actually buy bathing suits. To wear cute dresses and to not be completely self conscious about how I look from the side when I'm sitting down. To be confident enough in how I look and myself so I can believe that I'm good enough. But a big part of me keeps thinking I'll fail at this just like I've failed at countless other things. The difference is that this is the one thing I don't want to fail at, and I don't know what I'll do if I do.
Today was my first day working out for almost a week. Not by choice - my ankle was very sore and I spent the last few days icing it. It hurt this morning but by the time I got home it was fine. I did day 11 of the 30 day shred (level 2) and an hour on the elliptical. I would have done more but I was starving and needed time to study and shower. I'm really going to go hard the next couple weeks. I don't have anything until June 23rd. I have a buck and doe that night and I've already decided that I will do one of two things: if I eat the food, I won't drink, and if I drink I won't eat the food. I need to start making sacrifices so that one bad day doesn't put me back a week. This week I'm going hard on working out - no break until next Wednesday since I didn't work out Sunday or Monday. I'm also going to eat incredibly healthy and do my detox (which is just a cleansing pill that received approval from my dad). So it's a 7-day detox and I started that today. I also ate lots of veggies today - 3 cups of broccoli anyone?
I'm trying to keep myself distracted so I don't get so down about how I look. I've spent the entire night studying and beginning my law school applications, or at least figuring out what exactly I need to do for the applications. I've really got to get a move on those, especially the personal statements.
Anyway, that's it for now. Hopefully I'll lose those 2.5lbs doing this detox and get right back on track.
-Monica
Thursday, July 7, 2011
Updating (because I'm being made to blog)
So, Nick is making me blog because it's his birthday and he thinks this allows him to order me around.
I feel like I've been pretty good the past few days. I've eaten Polish food but not gone overboard and I haven't eaten any cake or dessert. I've stuck to either 1 or 2 drinks as well. Tomorrow will be a different story though because we're partying all night. Then Saturday since it's my birthday I'm going to pig out, haha. But I have nothing next weekend so this will give me almost 2 weeks of uninterrupted healthy eating where I can get back on track, hopefully.
I feel better. I look in the mirror and I know I'm not skinny but I feel better. Even my mom commented that she could tell today which made me happy. And she said she's been proud of my food choices the past couple days, because I usually take a dinner break with her so she sees what I'm eating. I didn't exercise today because I twisted my ankle as I was about to and it was really bugging me. I did get a lot of exercise at the hall though - running up and down the stairs and running around the hall fetching things for everyone. My ankle is killing me tonight but oh well.
There's not too much else to update on. Everything else is going pretty well, considering. I weighed myself this morning and it said 188.5lbs which is good since it's been kind of crazy. So if I can just maintain that, then the next couple weeks I'll go hard. I'm also going to do a detox next week which will help me quickstart my weight loss again.
I suppose all I need is continued support from those closest to me and I'll be fine. I know I'm not where I wanted to be but we all have obstacles and I just have to overcome them. I just hope by this time next year I'll be where I want to be and healthy.
Also, happy birthday to my wonderful boyfriend! I love youuuu.
-Monica
I feel like I've been pretty good the past few days. I've eaten Polish food but not gone overboard and I haven't eaten any cake or dessert. I've stuck to either 1 or 2 drinks as well. Tomorrow will be a different story though because we're partying all night. Then Saturday since it's my birthday I'm going to pig out, haha. But I have nothing next weekend so this will give me almost 2 weeks of uninterrupted healthy eating where I can get back on track, hopefully.
I feel better. I look in the mirror and I know I'm not skinny but I feel better. Even my mom commented that she could tell today which made me happy. And she said she's been proud of my food choices the past couple days, because I usually take a dinner break with her so she sees what I'm eating. I didn't exercise today because I twisted my ankle as I was about to and it was really bugging me. I did get a lot of exercise at the hall though - running up and down the stairs and running around the hall fetching things for everyone. My ankle is killing me tonight but oh well.
There's not too much else to update on. Everything else is going pretty well, considering. I weighed myself this morning and it said 188.5lbs which is good since it's been kind of crazy. So if I can just maintain that, then the next couple weeks I'll go hard. I'm also going to do a detox next week which will help me quickstart my weight loss again.
I suppose all I need is continued support from those closest to me and I'll be fine. I know I'm not where I wanted to be but we all have obstacles and I just have to overcome them. I just hope by this time next year I'll be where I want to be and healthy.
Also, happy birthday to my wonderful boyfriend! I love youuuu.
-Monica
Sunday, July 3, 2011
Quick Update
Just a quick update - I've been busy and haven't had much time to write.
I just finished day 9 of the shred. I ate horribly yesterday because it was my brother's birthday party so today I did the shred and went for a run. I feel like the next few weeks I won't lose much because my birthday is this week and I just have so many events that will put me back. I've decided though, that at the villages I will only eat badly on my birthday and the rest of the days I'll stay healthy.
I'm kind of worried that I'm losing my motivation. I've just been so bad lately. And this month, my PMS has been awful. I normally don't get really bad cravings but I did this month. I ate like 10 cookies the one night and yesterday I had 2 donuts on top of everything else. But I think my cravings have been satisfied so I'll eat well today.
I think I'm not going to weigh myself for a while. I feel like the pressure I've put on myself to lose a certain amount of weight every month is really getting to me and stressing me out. So, I'm going to stick to measuring myself every 15 days, and I'll just weigh myself once every 2 weeks or something. I know it'll be harder to track my progress but.. oh well. This month I doubt I'll lose much, so I'm changing my goal to be 175ish by the end of August. August I'll lose a lot because I have nothing really planned so no reason to eat bad. It's just this month that's crazy with birthdays and buck and does and weddings. I hate it and I'm trying but it's hard.
Anyway, I'm going to try hard this week to at least maintain. Tomorrow will be my last day of level 1 of the shred then I move to level 2. I didn't work out yesterday because I had no time. This week I'm hoping to work out from Sunday (today, which I did) and every day until Saturday. Saturday I'll break this week because I'll likely be hungover (although I'm going to try my best to not be and to not drink so much). So.. we'll see. I know Wednesday I usually break but I'm going to try to work out this Wednesday just because I did break yesterday.
Anyway, that's it for now. I'm just trying to get motivated again, despite all my setbacks.
-Monica
I just finished day 9 of the shred. I ate horribly yesterday because it was my brother's birthday party so today I did the shred and went for a run. I feel like the next few weeks I won't lose much because my birthday is this week and I just have so many events that will put me back. I've decided though, that at the villages I will only eat badly on my birthday and the rest of the days I'll stay healthy.
I'm kind of worried that I'm losing my motivation. I've just been so bad lately. And this month, my PMS has been awful. I normally don't get really bad cravings but I did this month. I ate like 10 cookies the one night and yesterday I had 2 donuts on top of everything else. But I think my cravings have been satisfied so I'll eat well today.
I think I'm not going to weigh myself for a while. I feel like the pressure I've put on myself to lose a certain amount of weight every month is really getting to me and stressing me out. So, I'm going to stick to measuring myself every 15 days, and I'll just weigh myself once every 2 weeks or something. I know it'll be harder to track my progress but.. oh well. This month I doubt I'll lose much, so I'm changing my goal to be 175ish by the end of August. August I'll lose a lot because I have nothing really planned so no reason to eat bad. It's just this month that's crazy with birthdays and buck and does and weddings. I hate it and I'm trying but it's hard.
Anyway, I'm going to try hard this week to at least maintain. Tomorrow will be my last day of level 1 of the shred then I move to level 2. I didn't work out yesterday because I had no time. This week I'm hoping to work out from Sunday (today, which I did) and every day until Saturday. Saturday I'll break this week because I'll likely be hungover (although I'm going to try my best to not be and to not drink so much). So.. we'll see. I know Wednesday I usually break but I'm going to try to work out this Wednesday just because I did break yesterday.
Anyway, that's it for now. I'm just trying to get motivated again, despite all my setbacks.
-Monica
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