Update:

Not much to say. I didn't do much last week... mostly because my hands and feet were sore from my very short stint at Ferrero. Plus it was Thanksgiving so I didn't eat the greatest.

I've been good the past few days, though. I actually have a reason and motivation to be going to the gym now so that's great. I can't say it here though because people who can't know about it read this blog, haha. But it's a greattttt reason. I went to bodyart yesterday and am going either to design method or body sculpt on Thursday. Then Friday I'll probably go to ballet.

I made apple butter today which is delicious and pretty healthy. I couldn't find sugar-free cider though so the cider I used had quite a bit of sugar but oh well. It's definitely healthier than jam and stuff so it's a good alternative.

Tomorrow I'm really going to get back on the working out and studying train. My LSAT is coming quicker than I want it to and I've been slacking. So tomorrow I'm at least going to do half a test... maybe a full one. My personal statements have been written and are in the process of being edited so that's a big thing out of the way. Just gotta start shedding the pounds and studying now!

-Monica

Chinese Food.

Update:

I know it's terrible but I ate Chinese food today. And now I feel fat. So I'm going to sit in the corner and cry now.

Kbye.

-Monica

Good Week.

I weighed myself yesterday morning and I'm 180.5lbs! It means all my hard work has been paying off. I know I'm behind but if I can lose at least 15lbs more before Christmas, I will be in good shape. Even if I'm 140lbs before I go to law school... as long as I'm lean, I'll be happy. I think that's the main thing I need to think about - it's not necessarily about the number on the scale, but about how many inches I lose and how lean I am. Because if I'm a bit heavier but it's all muscle - then who cares, right?

This week, my gym routine consisted of:

Monday - Physique
Tuesday - BodyART
Wednesday - break
Thursday - Body Sculpt

I was going to go to Ballet today but I'm really not feeling well. My stomach really hurts and I haven't eaten anything because of it. Tomorrow I'll try to at least work out at home before I go into work. Sunday I'll either work out at home or go to the gym. Next week instead of body sculpt I'm trying design method too, which I'm really excited about. Kelly and Kirsten have been coming to the gym with me which is nice. I think next week on Tuesday, Kelly and I are going to do anti-gravity yoga for an hour then do the BodyART class. So even though it's yoga, at least I'll be doing 2 hours on Tuesday.

Last week when I was in NY, I bought a bunch of clothes that are too small. My goal is to lose 10lbs and fit into these. I think one of them will still be tight when I've lost 10lbs, but that's just incentive to lose more. I also bought a dress I want to wear on Christmas.

Adorable, right? The picture doesn't do it justice because it's the most adorable dress ever and so my style. It fits but I don't like how it looks on me right now because there's a little too much belly action going on. If I can lose 15lbs, I definitely think I can rock this dress. So that's why I'm working really hard, because I don't want to waste this dress. Isn't it so little girl-ish/old lady-ish at the same time? It's so adorable, haha. I'm so determined to wear it.

I've been eating well for the most part. Not as many veggies as I should be eating but I'll try to change that. And usually when I work at the bar, I have the dessert they serve (crepes with vanilla ice cream and strawberries) because you need a little pick me up. Thankfully they're small, and I usually don't eat the dinner there because it's too bad for me... so it evens out, maybe? I usually bring some fruit to snack on but I don't always have time to snack, especially at weddings that keep the bar open during dinner. But we'll see, and I'll try my hardest to be good this weekend.

I think that's it for now. And thanks so much to everyone who reads this and bugs me to write. So many people I wouldn't expect to read this do and it really does motivate me to keep going because I don't want to disappoint anyone, and most of all, I don't want to disappoint myself.

-Monica

I'm Back!

Since SOMEONE bothers me every day to update this, I figured I finally would.

I know it's been a while. Stuff came up that really altered the way I was living for a little so the whole diet/weight loss was put on hold. But I think, and I hope, things will be okay for a while so I can get back on track.

I joined The Athletic Club. I love some of the classes, and it was cheaper to just join. I haven't been going much lately, but I'm trying to change that. So I have a plan for this week.

Today - went to BodyART
Wednesday - usually my day off, but going to Physique
Thursday - usually I would go to Body Sculpt or Design Method but I believe I am going to the US for the day so this week it will be a rest day
Friday - Ballet Strength & Stretch
Saturday - I have to work at 4 but if I get up early enough I'll go to the gym and just run for an hour and do some weights or whatever.
Sunday - weights & cardio
Monday - Physique
Tuesday - BodyART

This is all assuming I don't have a job that interferes with the classes - hopefully I can still go to my classes when I get a job.

I feel pretty good about myself after tonight. Just feeling like I can do this. I was thinking today about how much I want to get to my goal by next year, and I realized I really need to ramp it up. My goal for the end of the year is 165, I believe. That's a little more than 1lb a week, which is doable. If I get my gym schedule on track, hopefully my eating will follow. Although I feel good about myself today, I didn't eat particularly well. I had a healthy breakfast and lunch, but for dinner we had plum pierogi. But we only make them once a year when italian plums are in season, so I figured it was okay. Plus I'm not a huge fan of them so I only had like.. 8 or something. Tomorrow I'll wake up and eat healthy, go to the gym, and have leftover homemade veggie soup for dinner.

I think I can do this. I think my mind is back in a place where I'm able to really focus. I feel like with this and law school applications, it'll take up a lot of my time but I suppose it's worth it in the end. I'm just ready to be healthy. And if I can get to 165 or less by the end of the year, I'd be convinced I can do this. As for a short term goal, I'm going to say 174lbs by the end of October, hopefully. I think I'd be in a good position if I got to that. I'm not quite sure what I weigh right now because I've been scared to check but I know its around the 184lb mark, so it's not like I'm completely off track. I'm obviously losing slower than I want to, but we all come across bumps in the road.

So I'm ready to get back on track and am gunna need everyone to bug me to update this and talk to me about this so that I stay motivated. Motivation is a huge problem sometimes, but I really want to stick with this. I think I can with everyone's help.

-Monica

PS. I have an awesome boyfriend and I love him and stuff and he makes me update my blog so he's pretty cool.

Update

So, I'm at a bit of a plateau. I can't seem to get below 182lbs, which is kind of annoying. I switched up my exercise routine today and moved to level 3 of the shred, which I love. I'm going to pick my 3 and 5lb weights tomorrow though, because some of those moves need more than the 2s. I'll keep the 2s for the cardio, but some of them I definitely want to be using my 5s. I especially want to use those on the arm exercises because I'd like to start seeing a difference in my arms.

I found 3 pairs of older jeans in my room which had been too small on me. I tried them on today, somewhat skeptically, and they actually ended up being a tiny bit too big on me! I was really happy. I'll still wear them because I'm in a weird in between stage where the jeans I have are either too big or too small... none of them fit nicely. Which is okay, because hopefully in 5-7lbs I'll be able to fit into my skinny jeans again. I just need to get past this plateau. I did get a compliment about my weight loss yesterday, though. My aunt, who is bigger herself and has always been the type to say "what's the point of diets? just eat whatever you want" said that I was looking good. It actually meant a lot because she's really not the type to comment on things like that. So at least I'm at the point where people can notice I've lost weight, but I still want to lose way more.

I'm just really going to go hard this week. I think I'll do a class at the gym too. Amanda and I decided not to do the booty camp because it's too expensive. So I'm going to do a few classes at the gym with her. Hopefully we're going to do this Body Art class on Tuesday which is like.. strength training and cardio mix, but also with a focus on relaxation. I also really want to do a cycling class, and physique which is a ballet conditioning class which I love. I hope doing these will help me push past this plateau. But if anyone has any tips on how to get past plateaus please let me know! I'm drinking water and not snacking at all, so I hope I'll get to 180. I really want a pedicure!

I think that's it for now!

-Monica

Quick update -

Things are going well. I'm still 182lbs. I did eat chinese food tonight because my aunt invited us over for dinner but I made healthy choices. And despite a pulled muscle in my leg, I still worked out today which I'm glad about. I'll just keep making good choices the rest of August and I feel like I will make it to 175lbs.

Also, my mom has informed me that I need to put my old jeans on because my current ones are like.. falling off of me. And I've started wearing clothes that I was wearing last summer when I was just a few pounds lighter than I am now.. so I'm happy with my progress so far. I think it's a good sign.

-Monica

Okay.. really back on track this time.

I had a cheat weekend, haha. I was on my period and craving every bad food imaginable, and I let myself indulge. But today I was back on track for sure. It was actually the first day since I've been sick where I felt like I had the sustained energy to get through a workout. I did the 30 day shred and it really tired me out, but I got through it. I also ate very healthy today. I know I gained a few pounds the past few days, but hopefully they'll be off soon.

I had someone comment that I looked good this weekend. My cousin, who I don't see very often, said that I was looking great. It made me feel pretty good about myself since people can notice a difference in the way that I look. I think it gave me extra motivation to keep going - because who knows what kind of compliments I'll get when I'm down 30, 40, 50lbs.

Amanda and I are signing up for booty camp which I'm looking forward to. I hope it'll kick our asses. Maybe it'll be what I need to help me reach 175lbs by the end of August. If I combine it with eating healthy (and from not until the end of August I only have one foreseeable occasion where I may not eat completely healthy) and doing the shred + normal cardio on non-booty camp days, I feel like I'll reach my goal. I'm going to stay positive about this. I also can't wait to get my pedicure so I'm doing my best to drop the few extra pounds until I read 180. I found this old notebook of mine and I found a piece of paper I wrote on in the summer of 2007. It was about my weight - I had recorded my weight along with the exercises I had done that day. I was 177.4lbs - at this point I had gained most of the weight I had lost back. So it makes me very optimistic because once I reach 175lbs, it'll be the smallest I've been in 4 years. I'll have no choice but to keep going after that because I'll be so happy with my progress.

On the studying side of things, I did an entire practice LSAT today under timed conditions. I got a 178. It's kind of crazy thinking about it because only like, 1% of test takes score that high on the actual test. I know I'll get lower on the actual test just because of the pressure of test day and anxiety and all that, but if I can get at least a 170 I'll be so happy. I still need to make an appointment with the bank though to see if I can get the money for law school. I also need to start writing my personal statements very soon - likely later this week. I sent off some emails to old professors about writing recommendation letters for me and I think I've found two great profs who will write me one - I hope so anyway because I'm not sure who else I'd ask. It'll be such a relief to get that out of the way.

All in all, I've had a pretty productive day and I'm happy about it.

-Monica

Thursday Weigh-in

I weighed myself this morning even though I wasn't expecting to see a change. In fact, I was expecting to see a gain.

Weight: 182lbs!

So I've lost 18 so far. I'm hopeful that I can get to at least 181 before August so that my goal of 175ish by the end of August can happen. Even less would be better. Saying to myself that I've lost 18lbs sounds so much better than saying I've only lost 15 or 16. I'm proud. And only 2 more to go before my next reward. My sister is paying for my next reward. She said she wanted to treat me and her to a girls day of pedicures and manicures and I told her that a pedicure was my reward for losing 20lbs, so she promised to wait until then. She did tell me to hurry up though, haha. But only 2lbs to go and we can go get them! Just the pedicure though.... I haven't quite stopped biting my nails yet. But hopefully at 170 I can get a manicure.

It feels so weird... almost being out of the 180s. I feel like it wasn't too long ago that I was on the scale and seeing over 200. And here I am.. thinking about how I'm so close to seeing 179 on that scale. I am proud. I do still feel fat and I still hate my body and the way I look... but I know it's a work in progress, and I'm on my way to loving my body.

I really wanted to work out today but I'm getting the worst cramps. My period has been really messed up lately and the past 2 months have been horrible on the cramp side of things. I put my work out clothes on and everything and kept trying to work out.. but getting cramps in the middle of a set of jumping jacks is not fun. The pamprin I took isn't working either. So.. I don't know. I'll try tomorrow and for sure I'll work out all weekend. And if my cramps get better later today I'll try to work out.

I guess that's it for now. I'm happy with my progress so far, even though I'm not where I expected to be. But at least I'm losing, even if it is slowly.

-Monica

Mostly Better.

I started working out today. I decided to start with something light since I do still have a slight cold and I still don't have all of my energy back. I did 50 minutes on the elliptical and almost passed out afterwards from being to tired. I don't think it was from not being used to working out, I think it was from not eating enough beforehand and just being so drained of energy. But at least I got up and started moving. I think on Thursday I'll start the 30 day shred again.

It was a rough week. Being sick as well as other things. Things aren't completely better but relatively speaking they are. I'm better and I'm planning on staying with my parents until the humidity lets up. There's some other stuff going on that I'm still having a bit of a tough time with but I don't think it'll interfere with my working out or eating healthy. We'll see. It was one of the reasons I didn't work out last week... some things are just more important at times. But I guess I'm back on track now.

I feel like I'm always saying that... that I'm back on track. But something always comes up and I get off track. I dunno. Ugh. Hopefully I'll stay on track this time. I hope I will.

-Monica

Still Sick.

There's nothing to say.. I'm 184lbs. That's pretty surprising since I'm still sick. It's been a really rough week for more than one reason and I haven't been eating properly. I'm on a steady diet of ginger ale, soup and popsicles. I've pretty much had no appetite the past few days... I eat once a day and that's it. Absolutely no energy to work out either. On top of the strep throat I also have a cold, so it's been rough.Today's the first day I've felt a little better though, so I'm encouraged. I was getting a little worried that I'd have to go in for a mono test, because the doctor told me if I wasn't seeing an improvement in the next three days, she'd need me to get a mono  test. And even my dad said he was concerned because I wasn't getting better. But hopefully by tomorrow I'll be feeling even better and won't have any worries about mono. Also, I guess an upside to being sick is that at the buck and doe on Saturday I won't drink and probably won't eat very much.

That's it for now I guess. Also, I love Nick and he's pretty awesome and stuff.

-Monica

Sick.

Just a quick update while I'm actually not on the couch or in bed.

I have strep throat which means I'll pretty much be out of commission the next 3-4 days. I'll see if I feel up to exercising lightly tomorrow, but today I'm way too drained and sore. I'm also not eating a lot because of it so I won't have the fuel to work out.

Update though: I weigh 184.2lbs. :)

This week has been crazy good in the weight loss department. Not so good in the health department. But I'm going to run out while I'm up to get some soup (the healthiest I can find) and I'll take meds and nurse myself back to health.

-Monica

Back on track.. for real this time.

I'm much better the past 2 days. I think I was just having a few off days as a result of letting myself go for those couple days. But I'm back. And I'm happy to report that my weight is 186.8lbs. This means that since I've been back I've lost those 2.5lbs and then some. I knew they would come off quickly but I don't think I expected it this quickly. But I've been working really hard and I think the detox is helping too.

The detox that I'm using, for anyone interested, is the Slimquick gentle 7-day cleanse. I had my dad read the ingredients (and by this I mean he sat on the couch and I read the ingredients to him while he looked thoughtful) and he gave me the go ahead for it. The only thing about it is that is has senna in it, which is a natural laxative, and it's too harsh for a lot of people. I was reading reviews and a lot of people said that and they were getting severe cramps and the chills and such. I don't get things that bad - I get mild to severe cramping but it only lasts maybe a total of 2-3 minutes a day. I figure no pain, no gain, and I can deal with a couple minutes of cramping each day to cleanse my body. You just need to have a toilet nearby at times, haha. Was that too much information? I dunno. I mean, it's a cleanse so obviously that's how your body is going to cleanse yourself! I would definitely recommend everyone do it at least once because you really do feel better after. Just if you have bad side effects, stop. It's helpful to do research on the ingredients too and to talk to a pharmacist or someone similar.

I worked out for almost 2 hours today. I did the shred, level 2, and then about 75 minutes on the elliptical. I was so exhausted after I could barely stand up, but it was a great feeling. Tomorrow I'll do the 30-day shred and then depending on how I'm feeling, maybe the elliptical. Saturday and Sunday I'll do a shred and then the elliptical. I'm also measuring myself on Saturday, I believe. I've been eating well. Although today I made a big dinner and then I felt sick so I only ate a little of it. I think it was just from working out so hard, my stomach was being weird. But oddly enough I'm not even hungry. It's good that my appetite is beginning to get smaller again.

I feel good about myself. I'm happy about that. I also feel like my goal of 170-175lbs by the end of August is attainable. If I go hard until June 23rd and hopefully lose another 3-5lbs, I'll be in a good place. Then after the 23rd I'll go hard for over a month and I'll hopefully lose the last 10lbs or whatever. I definitely think I can do it if I keep going as hard as I am. I'm optimistic right now.

-Monica

Having a tough time.

I'm having a bit of a tough time. Last week was the villages and my birthday. I ate poorly, which was to be expected. I only gained 2.5lbs, which should be reason to celebrate, right? But when you've only lost 12.5lbs total.. it kind of sucks. I feel like I'm failing at this.

I saw pictures of myself from my brother's birthday party and I was just disgusted at how I looked. I don't know if it's that the camera adds pounds or what, but I don't feel like I look like that when I look in the mirror. So it's hard seeing pictures of myself, and seeing how others view me. I look terrible. And it makes me feel awful. Especially because, as I've mentioned before, I feel like I am progressing, but when that doesn't translate to how people view me... it's very disheartening. And I've just been a mess lately.

I don't want to look like this anymore. I'm tired of feeling terrible about myself and thinking I'm fat and ugly. I want it to change. And on one hand, it fuels the fire and pushes me to work harder. But on the other hand.. it's such a slow process and it's so hard to keep my spirits up. I think I need all the help I can get right now. All I know is that I want to be able to wear cute clothes and not look at something and realize I'm too big for it. To want to actually buy bathing suits. To wear cute dresses and to not be completely self conscious about how I look from the side when I'm sitting down. To be confident enough in how I look and myself so I can believe that I'm good enough. But a big part of me keeps thinking I'll fail at this just like I've failed at countless other things. The difference is that this is the one thing I don't want to fail at, and I don't know what I'll do if I do.

Today was my first day working out for almost a week. Not by choice - my ankle was very sore and I spent the last few days icing it. It hurt this morning but by the time I got home it was fine. I did day 11 of the 30 day shred (level 2) and an hour on the elliptical. I would have done more but I was starving and needed time to study and shower. I'm really going to go hard the next couple weeks. I don't have anything until June 23rd. I have a buck and doe that night and I've already decided that I will do one of two things: if I eat the food, I won't drink, and if I drink I won't eat the food. I need to start making sacrifices so that one bad day doesn't put me back a week. This week I'm going hard on working out - no break until next Wednesday since I didn't work out Sunday or Monday. I'm also going to eat incredibly healthy and do my detox (which is just a cleansing pill that received approval from my dad). So it's a 7-day detox and I started that today. I also ate lots of veggies today - 3 cups of broccoli anyone?

I'm trying to keep myself distracted so I don't get so down about how I look. I've spent the entire night studying and beginning my law school applications, or at least figuring out what exactly I need to do for the applications. I've really got to get a move on those, especially the personal statements.

Anyway, that's it for now. Hopefully I'll lose those 2.5lbs doing this detox and get right back on track.

-Monica

Updating (because I'm being made to blog)

So, Nick is making me blog because it's his birthday and he thinks this allows him to order me around.

I feel like I've been pretty good the past few days. I've eaten Polish food but not gone overboard and I haven't eaten any cake or dessert. I've stuck to either 1 or 2 drinks as well. Tomorrow will be a different story though because we're partying all night. Then Saturday since it's my birthday I'm going to pig out, haha. But I have nothing next weekend so this will give me almost 2 weeks of uninterrupted healthy eating where I can get back on track, hopefully.

I feel better. I look in the mirror and I know I'm not skinny but I feel better. Even my mom commented that she could tell today which made me happy. And she said she's been proud of my food choices the past couple days, because I usually take a dinner break with her so she sees what I'm eating. I didn't exercise today because I twisted my ankle as I was about to and it was really bugging me. I did get a lot of exercise at the hall though - running up and down the stairs and running around the hall fetching things for everyone. My ankle is killing me tonight but oh well.

There's not too much else to update on. Everything else is going pretty well, considering. I weighed myself this morning and it said 188.5lbs which is good since it's been kind of crazy. So if I can just maintain that, then the next couple weeks I'll go hard. I'm also going to do a detox next week which will help me quickstart my weight loss again.

I suppose all I need is continued support from those closest to me and I'll be fine. I know I'm not where I wanted to be but we all have obstacles and I just have to overcome them. I just hope by this time next year I'll be where I want to be and healthy.

Also, happy birthday to my wonderful boyfriend! I love youuuu.

-Monica

Quick Update

Just a quick update - I've been busy and haven't had much time to write.

I just finished day 9 of the shred. I ate horribly yesterday because it was my brother's birthday party so today I did the shred and went for a run. I feel like the next few weeks I won't lose much because my birthday is this week and  I just have so many events that will put me back. I've decided though, that at the villages I will only eat badly on my birthday and the rest of the days I'll stay healthy.

I'm kind of worried that I'm losing my motivation. I've just been so bad lately. And this month, my PMS has been awful. I normally don't get really bad cravings but I did this month. I ate like 10 cookies the one night and yesterday I had 2 donuts on top of everything else. But I think my cravings have been satisfied so I'll eat well today.

I think I'm not going to weigh myself for a while. I feel like the pressure I've put on myself to lose a certain amount of weight every month is really getting to me and stressing me out. So, I'm going to stick to measuring myself every 15 days, and I'll just weigh myself once every 2 weeks or something. I know it'll be harder to track my progress but.. oh well. This month I doubt I'll lose much, so I'm changing my goal to be 175ish by the end of August. August I'll lose a lot because I have nothing really planned so no reason to eat bad. It's just this month that's crazy with birthdays and buck and does and weddings. I hate it and I'm trying but it's hard.

Anyway, I'm going to try hard this week to at least maintain. Tomorrow will be my last day of level 1 of the shred then I move to level 2. I didn't work out yesterday because I had no time. This week I'm hoping to work out from Sunday (today, which I did) and every day until Saturday. Saturday I'll break this week because I'll likely be hungover (although I'm going to try my best to not be and to not drink so much). So.. we'll see. I know Wednesday I usually break but I'm going to try to work out this Wednesday just because I did break yesterday.

Anyway, that's it for now. I'm just trying to get motivated again, despite all my setbacks.

-Monica

What a week.

I don't even know where to begin. The last few days have been insane and hard. The wedding was interesting. There was a lot of family drama involved and I was pretty upset for most of the night. I didn't actually calm down until I was home and my wonderful boyfriend cheered me up. Food-wise, the food wasn't great. I was disappointed but obviously still ate it because I needed to eat. I've been eating well since than to make up for the extra carbs I ate. Then some other stuff happened today and yesterday that has just got me so upset and stressed out. Thankfully, working out has helped relieve some of that stress and allowed me to release a lot of frustration.

I'm on day 5 of the 30 day shred. Today I did a lot of working out. Last night I saw pictures of myself from the wedding and I think it motivated me. I did not like the way I looked and it was very upsetting for me. Because I feel like I've been doing so well, but then I see pictures of myself and it's like you can't tell I've lost 12.5lbs. And even if you can, it doesn't matter because I'm still big and I won't be small for a long time. It's frustrating and upsetting. So I decided I was really going to go hard, both on the healthy eating and working out. Not too hard that I can't handle it but enough that I'm pushing myself. Yesterday I did the shred and 20 minutes on the elliptical. It was a lot but I felt like I could still do a lot more. So today, I did the shred twice and 40 minutes on the elliptical for a total of an hour and 40 minutes of exercise. I feel good. I won't do this much every day, but I think I have a new schedule in mind:

Sunday - DVD once + 20-40 minutes elliptical/treadmill
Monday - DVD once
Tuesday - DVD twice + 40 minutes elliptical/treadmill
Wednesday - Rest
Thursday - DVD twice + 40 minutes elliptical/treadmill
Friday - DVD once + 20-40 minutes elliptical/treadmill (every other week, most likely)
Saturday - DVD twice + 40 minutes elliptical/treadmill

I feel like that's a solid workout schedule and one that will push me but won't be too much. And the elliptical/treadmill will depends whether I'm here or at my parent's, because I'll be there a lot in July. I guess I've just finally realized that I can't just stroll along and eat healthy and workout casually. I need to push myself. If I ever feel it's too much, I'll back off, but right now I think I can handle it. I've also established snack days. They are Wednesday, Friday and Saturday. On these days I'll be allowed to have something like a slimfast bar, granola bar or crispy minis (so smart snacks that aren't overloaded with sugar or sodium). The other 4 days I'm going to have to snack on fruits and veggies. I feel like I snack most night on granola bars and such, and I want to cut that down. I think 3 days a week is a good compromise.

On day 10 of the shred, I'm going to advance to level 2. So on days when I do the shred twice, if level 2 is too hard, I'll do level 2 once and level 1 once. I've also measured myself, and I plan on measuring myself every subsequent 15 days of the shred - so one at the start, one halfway through at day 15, and one at the end at day 30, just to see how effective it is.

I feel good despite everything. I'm going to eat dinner in a bit - leftover baked chicken, a salad and likely some baked tomatoes or I'll make green beans. Depends. So in spite of feeling down about how I look and having a terrible week, I'm trying to turn it into something positive - working out as a distraction and to relieve stress and using it as an incentive to keep losing weight.

-Monica

Day 2 of the 30 Day Shred

So I did my 2nd day of the 30 day shred. I really didn't want to do it because I was pretty sore from yesterday, but it wasn't so bad that I couldn't work out. So I did it. It was surprising because I already feel my endurance building. I can definitely see how you would get results if you go hard for 30 days. So I'm happy I did it today. Although tomorrow is not usually a rest day, I have a wedding to attend so day 3 will be Sunday (unless we are invited to the poprawiny which is a polish tradition.. basically a big party the day after a wedding where you eat all the leftover food and drink all the leftover booze). But we'll see how it goes. Tomorrow I will try my best to make smart choices, or at least not to completely overeat.

I guess that's all I have to say for now. I'm planning on measuring myself once I'm back home and have my measuring tape just to see how big a difference this 30 day shred makes outside of the scale. So, we'll see how it goes!

-Monica

Thursday Weigh-in

Just want to give a quick weigh-in, as I weighed myself at my parents this morning!

187.5lbs!!!!

I'm so happy because this is less than I expected. I still think my scale and my mom's scale need to be compared again, so I'm going to do my best at only weighing in on my mom's scale since it's the one I'm going by, so I may not weigh in every single week now. But I'm so happy. And I'm going to order my iphone case today even though Canada Post is still on strike. And only 7.5 more pounds until my next reward which is a pedicure! So I'm officially down 12.5lbs and I've broken the first 10. I think at this point I'm very encouraged. By the end of the month I'd like to lose at least 2.5lbs so I can be an even 185, so that's my goal. Losing more would be even better. But 185 will be my goal.

Okay but I'm off to start my 30 day shred! Yay!

-Monica

New Elliptical!

I finally got my new eliptical! It's fantastic. It was originally $1000, but it was half off and we got an additional $10 off because we bought the floor model. And then the price came down a little more because my mom is a master at bargaining. Needless to say, we got this elliptical for a crazy price. I used it today for 45 minutes and I love it. I was going to use it yesterday but carrying the thing up 4 flights of stairs to my room was workout enough and my arms are so sore today. But I used it and I love it and I'm so happy I got it back.

Amanda was telling me yesterday how she bought the 30 day shred by Jillian Michaels. It's not the first time I've heard about this DVD. She showed me some before and after pictures that people had posted and wow! The difference in just 30 days is amazing. So I went on amazon and ordered 3 Jillian Michaels DVDs - the 30 day shred, ripped in 30 and banish fat boost metabolism. The 30 day shred seems to be the easiest, and then the DVDs get subsequently harder. So I'm going to start with the 30 day shred for 30 days, and if I feel I'm ready then I'll start ripped in 30. If not I may just up the difficulty of the 30 day shred for another month. I likely won't get the DVDs in for a bit, depending on the Canada Post strike, so until then I'll use my elliptical. I've also made a bit of a workout schedule that I'm doing to try to follow:

Sunday: DVD + 20-30 minutes elliptical
Monday: DVD
Tuesday: DVD + 20-30 minutes elliptical
Wednesday: Rest
Thursday: DVD + 20-30 minutes elliptical
Friday: DVD + 20-30 minutes elliptical (but only every other week)
Saturday: DVD + 20-30 minutes elliptical

I'll try to follow that as best I can. If I'm at my parents I'll replace the elliptical with a short run on the treadmill. I think it's a bit ambitious but I'm going to try because I'd really like to start seeing results. As for this month, I'd like to just see myself lose 3-4 more pounds and I'll be pleased.

I also started studying for my LSAT again today. I had taken a bit of a break. I think after this week I'll start on my personal statements as well. I really need to get cracking on those. This week is pretty busy again for me, otherwise I'd start this week. So for now all I'm doing is looking at the practice test I wrote, at the logical reasoning questions, and going over the types of questions I got wrong. If I can learn how to better attack those questions - well, that'll be the difference between getting a 167 and a 170. So I'm really going to try.

I've been eating pretty well. I don't have many veggies left in the house and I don't want to buy any because I'm going to my parents on Wednesday until Sunday (we have a wedding this weekend). So I'm going to survive the week on broccoli and tomatoes. I don't think that'll be too bad anyway. Then on Saturday at the wedding I'm going to probably pig out a little, haha, and drink. But I'll make smart choices during dinner anyway and I'll try not to completely binge. I don't want to drink very much anyway just because the last few times I've drank more than 2-3 drinks, I've felt awful. And the same thing happens when I eat unhealthy food. I guess that's what happens when your body is no longer used to having those things in your body. It also makes me know that my body is getting healthier and I don't want to do anything to screw that up.

I'm still having foot problems. Ten minutes into my workout today my foot was in a lot of pain. So I took my runners off and put my airwalks on. I know I shouldn't workout with airwalks, but my foot doesn't hurt when I use them. That's why I'm being led to believe it is a shoe problem. I've tried to keep my shoes looser but I'm not sure how else to prevent it. Unless it's something that'll go away as I lose more weight. I guess I'll find out.

I think that's it for now!

-Monica

Thursday Weigh-in

Sorry it's been a few days. Life has been busy. I graduated today which was fun, but it was a really long day. And I did have a few snacks, but I think I earned it. I weighed myself this morning and I was 190.6lbs. I'm so close to 190! I would justl ike to lose at least 3 or 4 more pounds by the end of June for me to be satisfied. I realize that I'm a little behind but there's nothing I can do about it. I think once I do get the first 10lbs out of the way, I'll feel like I can do this. I was supposed to get a new elliptical today but it ended up being too late so my mom is coming this weekend to help me go get one. So once I have that back, hopefully on Saturday, I'll start working out more consistently. I did work out a little this week - I went for a run and did some workout videos, but I feel like it'll be so much better when I get another elliptical.

The weather's been nice lately so no problems there, and I have been making sure to eat extremely healthy. Even today I did my best. I had a side salad at dinner with my chicken, but I also had a dinner roll and swiss chalet sauce but oh well. For lunch we were at a luncheon so I had to choose from what they had. I had a salad and a sandwich on one piece of multigrain bread and some fruit. The bad food came in at the reception - I had one onion ring, a spring roll, a mozarella stick, a tiny meatball, and a piece of pita bread with some hummus on it. Obviously not good food but I only had one of each so I didn't go overboard. Then they had a chocolate fountain so I had 2 chocolate covered strawberries, haha. I couldn't resist and they were so so so delicious! But tomorrow I'll just have to work extra hard to be healthy. I likely stayed under or around 1500 calories today because the bad food that I did had were very small, so I'm confident today wasn't a total write-off. Plus I probably ended up walking around campus today for a good 45-50 minutes because we had to park so far away. I did my best with what I was given and I did treat myself because after 4 years I deserve it. One day won't be the end of this weight-loss.

I was planning on working out tomorrow but I wore new shoes today and they are so sore, so I don't know how they'll be tomorrow. I've also been having this weird problem when I work out, which started towards the beginning of the year when I began working out again. My right foot gets incredibly sore when doing anything after about 15 minutes. I thought at first it was because I was out of shape, but last year when I was working out and heavier than I am now, I didn't have this problem. Then I thought it could be my shoes but all of my running shoes fit and they aren't too tight and it happens no matter what pair I'm using. Even the shoes I was wearing last year to run in do it and I don't know why. Maybe I injured my foot at some point? But it doesn't really feel like an injury. It just hurts. It does feel like my shoe is too tight and it starts getting tingly but I've been keeping my shoes loose. It's so weird and I hope it stops because it gets very sore and annoying and I sometimes have to stop working out. That's why I like the elliptical - because I'm not constantly taking my foot off the ground, it takes a lot longer for it to start bothering me and I can work with it bothering me a bit. I'm really not sure why it's doing this though.

I think that's about it for now. Hopefully by Monday or so I'll be able to order my new iphone case! Not that I'll get it unless the Canada Post strike ends but I'll have ordered it anyway! And then I'll focus on getting to 180 so I can get a pedicure! And I adore pedicures so you know I'm going to work hard to get to that point so I can spend 40 glorious minutes sitting in a massage chair! It can't come soon enough.

-Monica