Thursday Weigh-in

I weighed myself this morning even though I wasn't expecting to see a change. In fact, I was expecting to see a gain.

Weight: 182lbs!

So I've lost 18 so far. I'm hopeful that I can get to at least 181 before August so that my goal of 175ish by the end of August can happen. Even less would be better. Saying to myself that I've lost 18lbs sounds so much better than saying I've only lost 15 or 16. I'm proud. And only 2 more to go before my next reward. My sister is paying for my next reward. She said she wanted to treat me and her to a girls day of pedicures and manicures and I told her that a pedicure was my reward for losing 20lbs, so she promised to wait until then. She did tell me to hurry up though, haha. But only 2lbs to go and we can go get them! Just the pedicure though.... I haven't quite stopped biting my nails yet. But hopefully at 170 I can get a manicure.

It feels so weird... almost being out of the 180s. I feel like it wasn't too long ago that I was on the scale and seeing over 200. And here I am.. thinking about how I'm so close to seeing 179 on that scale. I am proud. I do still feel fat and I still hate my body and the way I look... but I know it's a work in progress, and I'm on my way to loving my body.

I really wanted to work out today but I'm getting the worst cramps. My period has been really messed up lately and the past 2 months have been horrible on the cramp side of things. I put my work out clothes on and everything and kept trying to work out.. but getting cramps in the middle of a set of jumping jacks is not fun. The pamprin I took isn't working either. So.. I don't know. I'll try tomorrow and for sure I'll work out all weekend. And if my cramps get better later today I'll try to work out.

I guess that's it for now. I'm happy with my progress so far, even though I'm not where I expected to be. But at least I'm losing, even if it is slowly.

-Monica