Day 24

Sorry for not writing in a few days - it was a busy weekend. I had another cheat weekend because of my mom's birthday. I had half a hot dog, 4 pieces of rye bread and a s'more on the campfire. It could have been much worse, but I know I still ate things I shouldn't have. I also made sure to eat plenty of vegetables throughout the day but I know it doesn't make up for it. But I now have about a month before I need to have another cheat weekend. I have a wedding June 25th and I don't plan on cheating until then. I'd also like to weigh 187lbs by then... so that's 8lbs I'll need to lose a month which I think is easily doable if I exercise at least 5 days a week and keep an eye on my diet.

I've also decided that my official weight is 195lbs. I compared my scale to a bunch of other scales and mine was consistently 3lbs heavier than the rest. So from now on I'm going to subtract 3lbs from my scale to get my weight. This makes me feel better about my weight too! I didn't weigh myself Sunday just because I had on Thursday, so the next time I weigh myself will be Sunday, and hopefully I'll see another pound or two gone.

I was having a rough day yesterday and was pretty discouraged. I was trying to take a picture of myself on my new iPhone and I just looked awful in every single picture I took. And I felt so fat and I was so discouraged. I'm still pretty discouraged currently but I'm trying to keep my head up. It's not easy some days.. but maybe on Sunday if I weigh myself and I see a loss I'll be happier.

But I'm back on track today. I was frustrated though because I realized that I left my running shoes at home, so I have no elliptical and no shoes to go running. So instead, I began p90x again and will keep that up until I get my new elliptical, and may even keep it up after. I was proud of myself because I did the entire video, and only skipped over the pushups (which I modified a few and did some of them), another move that I don't have enough room for, and another move that really bugs my neck when I do it. Other than that I went full out and did everything else. I felt so good after.

My final calorie count for the day is 1298, which is the closest to my goal that I've ever come. So I'm pretty happy with that number. I also made a delicious and healthy meal which I'm going to add to my regular meals because it was so good. I haven't eaten enough veggies today but that's because I need to get groceries tomorrow after work. Until then I'll have to make do with what I have for tomorrow's lunch (which will likely just be salad with cucumbers). But oh well! I can deal with salad.

I really am trying to keep my head up. I keep saying that when I start to see my collarbone is when I'll really be committed to doing this since I'll be seeing results. But honestly, I feel like as soon as I hit 178lbs, which is what I was last year, I'll feel really committed to it. I remember how good I was feeling about myself last summer and how happy I was with my results, and I want to feel like that again. It'll be such a happy day when I can fit back into the jeans I bought in August and even better when they start to become big on me. Until then.. I guess I'll just have to work hard.